120515

I read an article once by Dave Barry called "Dave Barry's 16 Things". Apparently it was a list of the some of the most important things he had learned in 50+ years of life. Among these lessons were the following: Never lick a steak knife; Never, under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night; and You will never find anyone who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. Dave had a pretty good list. He had some hard-learned lessons in his list.

The reason I brought this up is because I learned a hard lesson last night that would certainly make my list of 16 things. Never apply Rock Sauce to one of your hamstrings without first putting on underwear. Not familiar with Rock Sauce? Let me give you a little history lesson in modern day liniments.

Liniments, also known as balms, have been around for ages. They are medicated topical ointments or creams that are applied to the skin in order to sooth minor aches and pains. They are used for minor sports injuries, arthritis, overtrained muscles, etc. Your father or grandfather probably used Bengay in his time. It was the first of it's kind as a modern liniment containing menthol and methyl salicylate. These are the ingredients that produced that cooling sensation that Bengay was famous for.

Because Bengay wasn't strong enough for some people along came Icy Hot. It had basically the same stuff in it that Bengay had. Just more of it. Shaq now sells Icy Hot, apparently.

Well, once again, a few years passed and Icy Hot just wasn't icy or hot enough for some people. Enter a product called Biofreeze. Biofreeze was suped up Icy Hot. You still see it quite a bit in doctors offices and chiropractic clinics. It can be difficult to come by without a doctors order. That's how serious Biofreeze is. You can't just waltz down to your local CVS and pick it up. Use it more than a few times a day in one spot and you can develop a chemical burn.

Was I just talking about how serious Biofreeze is? Ok. So some lunatic decided Biofreeze was for sissies. This lunatic created a product called Rock Sauce. Rock Sauce contains more menthol and methyl salicylate than any of the previously mentioned products. "So, what?" you may be asking. So, it also contains capsicum. Capsicum is a fancy word for chili pepper extract. You know the O C Spray that police carry? That "C" stands for capsicum. It's hot. Really hot. The Rock Sauce bottle has a skull on the front of it. That means death.

So, I said all that to say this- my left hamstring was really sore last night. Sarabeth won a bottle of Rock Sauce at a Crossfit competition in Nashville a few months ago. We hadn't tried the Rock Sauce yet. There sat the bottle, the skull on the front staring me down. I was about to enter the shower, and was dressed (or undressed) to do so. I rubbed Rock Sauce all over my left hamstring. As soon as I did this I stood up. A very sensitive organ of mine (I belong to the protruding organ gender) made contact with my Rock Sauce- covered hamstring. Oh my gosh. I thought my area was going to melt. It was like being pepper-sprayed in the groin. Actually, that's exactly what it was. I ran downstairs seeking help from Sarabeth. She laughed at my misfortune. I suffered through a shower and got in bed. The pain eventually subsided enough for me to fall asleep.

When I got out of the shower after working out today I decided to try the Rock Sauce on the same area again. I pit my underwear on as a protective shield first this time. Lesson learned.

ON TO THE WORKOUTS!

BARBELL GYMNASTICS
-5x2 Clean and Jerk @ 80%, rest 60 to 80 secs

STRENGTH
-Take 15 minutes to establish a 3 Rep Max Back Squat

CONDITIONING
-Tabata:
Pull Ups
Notes: Tabatas are always 8 rounds of 20 seconds of work and 10 seconds rest, alternating, until all 8 rounds are finished. This particular Tabata should alternate between strict and kipping pull ups, beginning with strict.

*Rest 5 Minutes*

-Then 3 rounds for total reps of:
90 secs Max Effort 15' rope climbs
90 secs rest
90 secs Max Effort Burpees
90 secs rest

*****MY RESULTS*****

BARBELL GYMNASTICS
- I used 140# for the Clean and Jerks, which was calculated from my 1RM of 185#. I didn't have much problem with these. I am still learning the movement and am getting better. I was excited that I hook gripped all of these pulls.

STRENGTH
-I ended up doing 225# for the 3RM. This was pretty tough on the last rep.

CONDITIONING
-Tabatas are always tough. I can not do any strict pull ups. I have to give myself a very slight Kip to get moving. Hopefully I will get to where I can do them. I scored a 50 on this workout with the following sets of pull ups: 3,16,1,9,1,9,1,10
-I scored a 60 on the next workout with rope climbs of 3,3,2 and burpees of 16,16,19

POST YOUR RESULTS!